(Source: hopefisch, via withonefootinafairytale)
Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste
As it keeps my heart and soul in its place
And I will love with urgency
But not with haste
(Source: mollyinkenya, via graceinabundance)
I have three months until I graduate. I’m at the point of wanting to rush through everything and forgetting about the consequences or keeping my 4.2 GPA.
I’m tired.
I’m exhausted.
Mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
I know it’s a mild case of senioritis. That bit I can handle without a problem. Add a bit of peer estrangement, then we have an issue. My peers dislike me - at least, a large part of them. I’m a people pleaser, one of those people who tries to live in peace with everyone. It hurts when I try my hardest to avoid fights and they hate my guts.
It’s just another three months.
I know God’s going to make something good come from this.
It’s just so hard to cope. I need to keep myself busy and hear people talk about their issues. That part’s pretty hard when they all keep things from me. They do it. They do it shamelessly.
I want to leave, graduate and not look back.
I need strength to keep going. I need restoration.
Note, I want and need different things. Right now, I think I’ll go with what I need. I’ll graduate soon enough. I’ll leave soon after that. Looking back, on the other hand, will be something I will never let myself do.
Ever.
I keep thinking about how Jesus said that the world would hate us. I guess if you stand for something people are bound to hate you. This experience just served to teach me that I am doing something right.
To be honest, I’m not okay right now. I’ll be okay eventually. Things will get better. The night is always darkest before the dawn and dawn is just around the corner.